Demigods!

My friend has both Dyslexia and ADHD. Is he a Demigod by any chance?

I came across a question on Quora that inspired me to write this post.

The question was: "My friend has both Dyslexia and ADHD. Is he a Demigod by any chance?" This question made me think about how Percy Jackson's story is woven (character created by novelist Rick Riordan), he has dyslexia and ADHD and his struggles and victories.  The way this child is shown fighting against all odds, but owing to his scared gifts and support angels he was constantly guarded by, he achieved extraordinary.

In real life too, I consider each of these individuals who are blessed with Dyslexia/ ADHD to be no less than such 'Demigods'. The initial years of struggles which as a child they face in school: a daily embarrassment of incomplete assignments, not getting the project material that the teacher asked for, fear of getting their turn to read aloud in the class, the humiliation of getting most spellings wrong, all the Sisyphean efforts to achieve a small reading or writing assignment only to find out how it lacked in many aspects; might be lacking in structure, spelling errors, or was illegible! Name-calling, bullying, being ridiculed... At home; worrying and sometimes frustrated parents... Despite all this, my 'Demigod' knows how to wonder about the small marvel of nature, and knows how to entertain themself, so what if it is pure daydreaming... he/she is empathic to others though he has not always received empathy that he needs, caring in his way... when left carefree and nurtured with a non-judgemental environment their creativity blossom.

Though it may also happen, some of them turn bitter due to all the hardships they suffer each day. That is where the support angels play a positive role. Angel can be a teacher, friend, and parent. Parent has a major role here.  Angels recognize the talent this child has, how he can draw analogies, how he comes up with the aspects which generally people wouldn't think of, their empathy, their creativity, out-of-the-box thinking, creative problem solving, interpersonal skills,  all this when it comes to the practical world. Angel's encouragement and support help the child maintain their self-esteem and bloom fully.

If they get the right support and tools for learning and dealing with life aspects, surely they show up as something beyond ordinary. Once the initial somewhat thorny journey is taken with the right support and zeal, the talent in real life blooms. The initial journey struggle can be minimized with the right support and help.  

The skills they lack can be acquired but the potential and the creative abilities they possess cannot be cultivated. 

I am saying this not only because we keep reading about all the famous dyslexics but also because of my personal experiences with my clients. I see each of the clients that I coach showing up with such marvelous thinking. The only thing they need to believe is that they are blessed! It is a loss of society if they fail to bloom...

click here to see the working model demonstrated by the child)

One such example is an eight-year-old boy rejected from various schools that fail to teach him and fail to recognize his talent. See the picture on the right, which shows a working model of a spacecraft he created all by himself. This he created as part of the exercise we do during the Dyslexia Correction Program that I provide. I am sure you will agree, that it is a pity on the school that rejected such beyond-the-ordinary talent. Why should he be deprived of the joy of learning? He has his angels in his mom and dad who believe in his abilities and support him with utmost care and love. I am sure he will pass the test and achieve something exclusive in life just like a 'Demigod'.

Another example is a child who was once told not to take up extended subjects and not to take up computers though he was interested in computers and science. Today he has secured admission in one of the top 10 technology universities in Computer science in the US and that too with a handsome scholarship. It's not a mean feat by any standards! His relentless belief in his abilities and his consistent use of his tools and techniques,  steadfast support from his angle (his parents, especially his mom) helped him nurture his learning. Set him on the path to conquer his dreams. This boy is a dedicated and consistent learner, though he finished the Dyslexia & Math Mastery program in 2016, and completed all the follow-up work diligently, Before his key exams he used to book a two-day refresher session with me and work on the issues that he is facing. 

Similarly, in my initial days, I provided a dysgraphia and dyslexia correction program to a 12-year-old girl. Mom was taking her for occupational therapy since she was 5 years old, she was prescribed to work on poor motor skills by strengthening her weak hand muscles and that was the reason assumed for his illegible handwriting. The paradox was the girl was a phenomenal artist. She fondly gifted me one of her freehand pencil sketches on completion of the program (see the picture above). How can one fail to notice that the act of such fine sketching art indeed needs finer motor skills? Needless to say in all these years her handwriting remained as is but confidence and self-esteem were affected. After this program when she went to school her teacher asked, 'What you did do?', 'How did your handwriting become so clear?' Thankfully, after the program, she was much more motivated by the positive changes she felt and her newfound abilities. Today, this girl is doing extremely well and represents her college in many events and seminars. 

Important is to BELIEVE in oneself, gain and maintain confidence, and NOT listen to naysayers be it school or anyone in the society...  

 https://qr.ae/TWTsbQ - Link to the Quora question. 

Reflections: Overdose or Under-Dose Parenting

‘When water is calm like in deep lake, we see everything clearly! But when water is turbulent like on hills/ slopes, we don't see any reflections.

Reflections in clam water; analogous to Calm Mind

Our mind is similar... if we are calm in situations, we can reflect clearly and then respond rather than reacting’ --- This was a casual conversation one morning with friends in context to some situation. I jokingly shared these photos from my gallery too.. (posting them here too...). But this thought took me to conversations  I routinely have with parents as part of the correction/ therapy programs I provide. So writing this blogpost some food for thought in holidays, hopefully when most of can be like a calm lake and can reflect...

Turbulent River; analogous to agitated state of mind

We parents most of the time, are a turbulent river... And we think our kids are driving us this way , as if they are the slope on which we are flowing! 

I guess many parents specially mothers would agree with me... but I am sure all will also agree that children only look up to parents and imitate behaviours. World doesn’t take a BIG circle here...

We know that the child is dependent on parent for love, tender care and nurturing in infancy years... these needs grow and change as child grows. Parental response changes to nurture the child. Problem arises IF parenting approach is too much or too less nurturing...

I draw the analogy of parental care & nurturing to  food & nutrition, so we can correlate better: When child is fed a well balanced diet they remain healthy. But imbalance happens when out of love, child is over fed or even forced fed out of love in initial years, then over eating becomes the need of the child leading to health issues at tender age... Same goes to support that we provide to child, out of love we may end up doing everything for the child thinking they are small and we rob their opportunity to learn to be independent and later we burn out and end up being like a turbulent river...

Similarly, Excessive support with lots of expectations can be compared to an imbalance diet like feeding child  with fast food and then thinking why they are not up to the mark, or why overweight etc. We don’t want that to happen, right? 

In another situation children could  ‘starve’ inspite of being well fed! Why? Because some of  their ‘basic needs’ are suppressed with the high performance expectation barrier or other reasons, there could be many. 

Though intention of parents whatever the case may be is almost always in the best interest of the child. Our judgements are based on our own conditioning and biases, the same may not always hold good for our children as they are in current times much different from we have grown up in. So, Ironically this ‘best interest’  is where all the imbalances occur leading to many issues faced by the child. And these issues become more complex & quite deep rooted as a child grows into an adult. These can potentially turn into low self-esteem, lack of confidence, lack of zeal etc.  Such imbalances often create behaviour issues in childhood and may translate into personality issues into adulthood leading into self inflicting or dangerous behaviour. Situation worsens when the child had learning differences or any other such challenges .

I see this in most of the cases I deal with.  I will site some practical examples from real life situations to elaborate further:

Scenario 1: Pushing on the edge 

Parent of a child with learning differences strive to provide all round support by all means. In order to encourage the child and not let them feel they are any less then peers. The child is pushed to try harder and harder... Absolutely no problem here... unless the child gets sound bytes like “This is not tough at all... children even with lesser capability than you can do this, so you can certainly do it better” 

Problem here; it  translates to the child something like, “Oh! I can’t even do easier things, I am no good.”

Or 

“I'm good for nothing, cannot even do simple things” .

The worst one: 

“I don't bring joy & pride to my parents”.

Now, we as parents may tell our child hundred times how much we love and care for them... but this interpreted learning remains with them as killer of their self esteem.. 

So what can be done:

As parents, if we can genuinely keep ourselves into child’s place and identify ourselves with their needs and feelings, that would help change the perspective. 

Try to re-phrase your sentences where you completely empathise with the child and show an understating towards their problems. Example; ‘ I understand how it feels when we are not able to do certain things as expected of us, but only the ones who try till they get it right are the winners, no matter what it takes. And I am always here when you need  help”.

Scenario 2- Well fed but Starving 

Mom complains that the child doesn't listen and is not ready to do any required activities like school homework, self-study etc but wastes  time watching TV and playing. The question is Why the child who was ever eager to learn new things as a preschooler starts doing so now at age eight or more…

Iaonnis Tzivanakis 

This scenario, reminds me to the learning I got in a very profound lecture by Ioannis Tzivanakis, I was fortunate to attend to at the recent Davis International Symposium in UK. Because it had answers to such problems! 

Ioannis, highlighted how important is attunement to inner receptivity... In simple terms: understanding and being aware of the core needs of the child and creating and environment where these needs are nurtured.

Another key point which I got as great learning from his lecture was: Let the child bloom by revealing themselves. 

Ioannis explained: learning engagement happens when curiosity is arised, creativity gets nourished, feeling of self acceptance arises, being loved and safety is provided.  

On the other hand, we avoid anything that we fear, any thing that causes confusion and we avoid boredom. All causes of disengagement.

This sounds so logical and is a natural response, but when the child expresses it in his own way, we find it illogical. 

So what can be done:

We don’t want the situation as described above where the child has reached the state of revolt as his some needs are starved, his creativity or curiosity is not fed enough.. his disengagement with activities as expected of him is result of him feeling deprived of what he wants and the expected activities do not feed curiosity etc. 

Such a child needs assurance and activity which is not inducing boredom to get engaged with. As parents only we can take clues and from child by listening intently and not judging them with our conditional biases. Let the child boom by revealing themselves.

Well…I guess this is enough food for thought to go over the holiday season. I am eagerly waiting for the arrival of the new book titled ‘ADHD decoded', by Ioannis Tzivanakis. I was lucky to have few interactions with him, any advice he makes is full of profound wisdom earned through extensive experience and deep research (you can visit his website www.tzivanakis.com). I am sure the book will have deep insights.

Ioannis Tzivanakis in Malvern, UK, 2018, Giving his lecture ADHD and Life Lessons

For people interested in more insights, I would recommend following readings:

• Strong-willed child or dreamer? 

By Dr. Dana Scott Spears & Dr. Ron L Braun

https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Willed-Child-Dreamer-Dana-Spears/dp/0785277005

• ADHD Decoded

By - Ioannis Tzivanakis - http://www.adhddecoded.com

PS-1: “ADHD Decoded" just arrived! :)

PS-2: Ioannis also accepted my request for an interview… In my blog post :)) So keep watching.. I am excited!

Fixing The Root Cause

In continuation to my previous post on 6th Davis International Symposium, UK. Here is another interesting point that I feel worth sharing with everyone –

This is from one of the lectures that Ronald D Davis gave, it was actually a Q & A session with him  (I will refer him as Ron, that is what everyone fondly calls him). When Ron speaks, every phrase is a nugget of wisdom and the beauty is the simplicity of it...This is really a profound one; he related the efficacy of the methods that he has deviced to his engineering background (another ‘wow’ moment for me; my background is same as his… :) 

Summary of what he said something like, ‘Engineers solve a problem by creating something. Then other engineers will later work on solving more problems which got created by creating ‘that' something… and the cycle goes on… but if we work to find the root cause which created the problem at the first place & fix that root cause… the problem will cease to exist.' (All my engineer friends listening…;)


I am so sure all who are reading this, are able to relate to this; our day in day out agony… At work place  or in life, where problems are everyday life reality, to find the root cause & fix that root cause is of extreme importance rather then just creating new solutions. New solutions without fixing the root issue only complicate situations sooner or later, as new solutions will have their own set of problems  induced with the root cause lying breathing there to surface in another form… it is as scary as it sounds.

In business organisations the buzz word remains RCA acca Root Cause Analysis…  at my previous  workplace I remember the emphasis laid on digging out the right root cause & fixing it, we all know when leakage is plugged at wrong place and not from the source itself, that may simply burst the pipe someday... 

When it comes to learning problems like difficulties faced in learning to read, reading comprehension , spellings, writing, understanding math, behaviour problems, attention problem etc the same concept applies. We have named these symptoms Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia, Dyspraxia, ADHD and so on...  

What we see the difficulty in certain areas of learning & behaviour that itself is not a problem… it is just a symptom. Applying methods to correct the Symptom may work but for short term…. The person will keep fighting the symptom with root cause still unplugged, will eventually continue suffering in some way or the other. 

Like if your doctor only gives you painkiller when you have a headache and no further diagnosis is carried out… you will feel have false belief of being cured as along as you take headache pills & eventually even headache pills will no longer work one fine day… that time you have no choice but to go and find out root cause of the headache & get best treatment. Only sad part is the process you suffer so much pain & stress… not far to imagine other complications that may arise! Case of learning difficulty is no different....

Problem is; most parents, educators, and sufferers themselves aren't much aware, so they try their best for warding off the symptoms rather then taking root cause corrections. Root cause correction will be for life long… symptoms corrections are temporary and also not empowering! 

Fortunately Ron could figure this out an worked out the methods to correct his own problems and then later these methods as we know today have helped millions of people across the world. Davis methods always work because they address root cause & apply specific correction method based on the person’s learning styles. It also provide tools for lifelong learning. These tools allows the person to explore their creativity & analytical thinking.  

There is huge difference in knowing the facts & understanding them. Knowing the facts does not make a person essentially capable of applying that knowledge back. This is because they have not learn it though their experience rather they just know it… And many people who fail to learn with  traditional teaching methods, do so because they are wired for real learning not mere reproducing the facts…If you feel this explanation is theoretical .. let's considered example of swimming. If youdecide to learn swimming you may watch many lessons on you tube and may read books with titles ‘How to…’ you will become fully aware of all aspects of swimming, but still I doubt you will get confidence to get into water and start swimming until you take & feel the experience of swimming in water yourself… This is a physical activity so we can relate very well & identify with it better… But process of learning is same irrespective of the subject.

In methods that we teach during 5 day program, experiential learning is taught. The person learns a powerful techniques which can be applied on any subject that they want to master.

Techniques available in a five day program also helps a person becoming more aware of themselves. And that changes a lot in a person from within… 

If you are interested in learning more about these methods, please feel free to contact me would be happy to share more .

Judgements cost heavy!

If you judge someone, you have no time to love them. -Mother Teresa. 

As I read this quote by Mother Teresa it occurs to me; great souls draw their wisdom out of compassion and empathy for fellow humans. The wisdom, that most of us common humans lack! The irony is that it is we who need it badly! We all have our own biases and judgments based on our experiences, observations and our understandings, which we consider as our ‘wisdom’. Now the problem is, these may seem as facilitating factors, but if you think a bit deeply they are infact limiting factors. More a person seem to have  gained the so called 'wisdom' in life, more steadfast their judgments are! This is because we are constrained by what we already know and we make conclusions on that basis. The problem lies when one chooses not to seek information with open mind, but prefers to or is quick to assume and establish prejudices... and here arises the vicious chain reaction of misunderstandings, mistrust, anger and the spiral of all negative emotions... Our judgments (both positive and negative) have negative effect on our decisions and decisions of the person being judged. This has significant impact on the relationships, and productivity in general. You can create a parallel in any situation be it a boss-subordinate, husband-wife, friends… but most significant in terms of impact is that of parent-child.  You will be surprised to know how judgments not only create bias but deprive mutual trust to thrive, and often result in unwarranted behaviour. I see this in many cases I come across during my counselling services. In these sessions, I conduct an informal interview in a very non- judgmental environment with parent and child separately, it helps each individual to open up and state the facts as per their own views. These conversations throw light onto many aspects and connect many dots to reveal complete picture. Below is one such peculiar case which I remember very categorically and would like share as an example.  This was around 4 years back a parent approached for correction of reading and writing problems of their very energetic and enthusiastic nine year old child, studying in grade 4.  While telling about child's behaviour mother mentioned how impertinent and insensitive attention seeking behaviour he has developed, specially towards her. She narrated an incident where how the child behaved when she had taken him for swimming along with his sister and his cousins who were at their place for holiday. Mother narrated the incident; All four kids were swimming and enjoying the play time in the pool, suddenly she noticed her son is not there with other kids…when she asked, they too were taken by surprise, a while back they all were playing together! … they all looked around in the  pool, then in changing rooms, other play areas in the club house…the search went frenetic as they couldn't find him anywhere in the club! By now she was in tears and terribly worried and started getting all sorts of negative thoughts… the club manager was equally worried & all guards were searching and looking into all corners.... And then,  just as she was about to call police, she saw her son waving and coming out of the big container kept at the rear end of the lobby for wet towels. When enquired how he reached there and what was he doing in the container? The response from the son was not just quirky but beyond her imagination! He said, 'I was hiding there purposely and I am happy to see you worried and crying!'  It was but very natural for the mother to get angry and felt hurt too… As a concerned mother she was very much worried about such unexpected behaviour! Friends, Now I will tell you the other part, what son shared; During the interview child revealed; he feels unwanted as mother gives all attention to his sister and fulfils all her demands all the time, whereas he is told to understand, as he is the elder one....'She ask me to wait when I ask for food even when I am hungry, at times, where as she was serving very promptly to my cousins when they were here…' There were many such complaints..the list was long!  Child shared, ‘I know my mother loves me but I don’t know why she ignores me’.  He narrated, how he once he went hiding on purpose in an empty tank, after sneaking out from the swimming pool when his cousins were here for holiday and mother had taken all the kids for swimming. He said he wanted to test if his mother takes a notice that he is missing or will realise only after reaching home. He told, he came out from hiding after hearing his mom talking to someone in chocked throat and was shouting at them that where a little child can go from the club? What is your security doing?... He said, 'I could not control his happiness to learn that mother really cares about me! But, when I told her she got very angry and slapped me in front of everyone'. Friends, can you see how the dots connect! And what picture do you see now?  Such situations are often classified as attention seeking negative behaviour, destructive psychology etc etc.. but if we see carefully, at the root, it is insecurity! If it is addressed early then we can prevent developing them into a troubled teenager or an adult with negative mindset... If the child is facing some learning problems or have some other issues, judgemental parenting often gives the problem a different dimension.  Parents need to remove the filters of their biases in terms of assuming reasons for certain behaviours, instead they must develop a safe and trusting environment by respecting the child’s views and gaining mutual trust by talking to children and taking them in full confidence. When you are willing to listen they will tell.. when you judge them they will mask their true feelings...  Most often our judgments are derived from expectations we secretly harbor for our off -springs. Many times I hear parents saying things like; 'We both were toppers throughout so how can we expect our child to be average in academics' , or 'I am an avid reader, how come my child doesn't like books?' or 'We are a family of mathematics scholars how can I allow my child to pursue music, there is no future in it'… Once a mother shared, 'All in our family are achievers I can’t face them if my son shows such poor performance in academics'!!! Some sound bytes for judgmental parenting most of us can identify are; ‘Don’t be lazy, finish up the home work fast’, ‘All the laziness kicks in only when it comes to studies', ‘Why you can’t get such simple stuff! Don’t fool with me’, ‘You didn't gave your 100 percent , your result is showing it!’ And many more such comments…. It would be much effective and peaceful if we help our kids setting goals & priorities, but these must be set based on child’s best interest not our own desire and wishful thinking. I would end this article with this simple yet quite profound quote ‘Be curious, not judgemental’ by a great writer and poet Walt Whitman. If we are curious we will make all efforts to seek the information with open mind. Our decisions will be more practical and life will be peaceful for ourselves and our children. Thank you for reading and hope you found this writeup interesting and useful.Please share it if you know it may help someone to change their perspective. I would love to hear your stories and thoughts on this topic, you can share here in the messages section.

Dyslexia does not happen only in English!

Dyslexia does not happen only in English! It is language neutral.....

I often state this fact to the parents of my little clients while asking them about the symptoms, and also as one of the strengths of Davis® Correction Programs. Davis® methods are completely language neutral. These can be delivered in and for any language using same techniques and are equally effective.

This is the reason the best seller book written by Ronald D Davis The Gift of Dyslexia is translated and published in 21 languages, and worldwide Davis Facilitator's network is providing this program in 30 different languages across 47 nations. But, very sad to say that the book is not available in Hindi or any other Indian languages.

Today, when I bumped into the news article from Indian Express,, about the toolkit designed in Hindi, Marathi & Kannada, to diagnose dyslexia in schools in grade 1, my heart filled with joy and hope. Congratulations and kudos to Ms Nandini Chatterjee Singh & team for taking up this noble work.  

Worldwide, approximately 15% to 20% children are said to be affected by learning differences and 10 % are estimated as having trouble in learning to read and write (typical dyslexia.)  This toolkit brings a ray of hope for 35 million children in our country. Out of which  a fraction who are the privileged to be studying English medium and those too elite schools. Among these privileged ones too only few get identified and get timely help due to various issues.

There is big need to reach out children with timely help and this toolkit is going to serve a great deal.

Davis®  Program is one such unique program which does not rely on phonics and language specific instructions, but builds it's foundation on creating an image of every symbol with it's meaning using the individual's creativity. It the learning and hence is equally effective in any language.

A glimpse of  work done in Davis ® Correction Program, the picture also shows handwriting improvement after 5 days of Program. 

The efforts to come-up successfully with the toolkit for Indian languages has encouraged me to initiate the search again for a suitable  publisher who will translate the book The Gift of Dyslexia in Hindi and other vernacular languages. The wonderful program which is provided one-on-one, is customized and personalized to suite each individual's need. It provides self empowerment to individual by controlling the symptoms at will.

Two years back, I was discouraged by following up with some publishers who made false promises but never got back even with the reasons of not pursuing the project. Now, again I am filled with hope. It has to reach so many people who will be able to relate with the problem and will get introduced to the wonderful correction methods.Amen!! the search begins.....

On-line interview published last month

It was indeed a moment of pride and I like to take pride in every success however small it may be... as that is what keeps one going....

It seems now the on-line community support for the cause of this soft issue of difficulties with dyslexia and related learning differences is now started to take some shape. Call of the interview from Schools N' More validated two of my convictions-

1. When you choose a larger good purpose, one or the other day people will come with you.

2. Organic reach works. When the cause is right people will notice and that is why electronic social media is a blessing.

But the real cause of happiness was sharing information to more and more people....The complete interview can be read on below link  -

helping-kids-with-learning-difficulties - Smrati Mehta with Schools N' More

ADHD Awareness

A very well written article on #ADHD in #Mid-Day  by #Sachin Kalbag, published this Sunday, the article was brought to my notice by a friend in Britten. true picture of how a brilliant child when does fit in cookie cutter approach is labelled by society without even thinking that they are crushing a blooming flower....parents must provide right support, it is responsibility of educators to be sensitive.

There are ways and techniques to empower the individual to self manage and bloom with the original talents.....Message to parents do not provide 'churches' of drugs, rote repetitive drills or mental tricks....take the right approach customised for your child...preserve his/her self esteem.

The biggest gift parents can give to their child is self-esteem and self-reassurance, no one else will and can do so for your child. 

Parents have make concious effort to be out of rat race. Help the child to explore the hidden talent and in-still the real confidence, as the writer has mentioned in the article.

Thanks to #Sachin Kalbag for writing. And thanks Richard Whitehead for bringing it to notice.

link to the article - http://www.mid-day.com/articles/lets-pay-more-attention-to-adhd/15286177

Dhoom 3- If not 'Milk Disabled' then why 'Learning disabled'!

I loved the dialogue in Dhoom 3, where +Aamir Khan tells Katrina that 'Some people cannot tie shoelaces, even Einstein could not tie his shoelaces', when she wonders on how come the person who can play dreadful stunts in a circus not tie shoelaces...

Loved this movie,  because  (leaving all other things of the movie aside) it creates awareness among common public that being a little different is not being abnormal. In today's world when we are progressing on every front, then why this aspect of human life be left in haze and blur. Why education system is still largely a cookie cutter system, one cut fit all...And from where we coined the term 'Learning Disabled'. Do we call a person with milk allergies as 'Milk disabled' or a asthma patient as 'Breathing Disabled'. No, but if a person not able to respond to commonly teaching aids, he/she get labelled as 'slow', 'LD', 'special needs' and this stigma of labels and false pride, pushes many parents into denial mode and they cause more harm then good to their child...

Methods are available which empowers a person to overcome these issues and they can participate  in life to fullest...

The Gifteds-Learning Enablers

Learning through Mastery; Mastery through Creativity